Saggy pants, smokes and bestiality

13 Mar 2009 at 22:15

idealcrap

Me, “Can I please have a Kleenex?”

Floor, “Why?”

Me, “Really, why? Because my sleeve is full.”

Has anyone else noticed the trend of young black men wearing pants that they have to hold up with one hand? What is that? Now, I never got the whole saggy jeans thing but hey, whatever. But I don’t get wearing pants that you have to hold up. Doesn’t that just scream, PICK MY POCKET? They’ll never be able to chase you down while holding up their pants and they can’t let go because then they’ll be face down in the floor with their pants around their ankles. Am I the only person that notices this?

Can someone please explain the burn card procedure to me? The other day I was told two different procedures by two different pit boss’s, in the same pit. The only procedure that anyone agrees on is the new shoe procedure. If you get tapped out during the shuffle you are supposed to burn a card and then the new dealer burns another one. Why? This rates about a 9.1 on my dumb shit-o-meter. I’m just sayin.

My favorite is when they tell me that the procedure hasn’t changed. Since when? Since you started talking?

I have a new theory that I’m working on. If your life is going well you are going to dump the rack. A couple of years ago when I was working on the boats I was miserable. I hated everything about the casino business and I killed everybody. I could have beaten you to death with my eyes closed. I just knew you were going to lose. Now that my life is great I can’t win a bet. Seriously, just come to my table and bet as much as you want to win.

Normally, this is a good thing. After all, if you win at my table then I will normally make a lot more money. Normally. Today I had one of those tables where I was dumping like a truck and nothing. Seriously, what do you do in this situation? I dumped about 13000 to 5 people and I made about six hundred dollars. I’m ashamed of myself but I tried everything. Meanwhile, there was a huge george on the table behind me getting crushed. Typical.

I’m going to bitch a little about the Rock for a few minutes just to let everyone know that I’m not just a huge cheerleader for the company. While I do believe they do a very good job I’m not afraid to criticize them when I feel they deserve it and right now there are two things that are getting my panties in a wad.

First, why are people getting requests for days off denied? I know of several people that have gotten denied for no reason that I can fathom. We have half the schedule getting four days a week and 20 part timers on every shift. Nobody should be getting requests denied. I will be the first to admit that I don’t have the whole story but I can’t think of a single reason why people can’t get whatever they want off.

Second, what’s up with the bus schedule? Why aren’t there three busses waiting outside at 8 o’clock. You should have two buses that leave the parking lot at 7:45 and one at the casino to pick up the floors and EO’s. Then the other two busses get to the casino at 8 and the other one shouldn’t be far behind since there isn’t anyone to be picked up at 8:00. It’s frustrating when I stand around until 8:15 and then three busses show up empty. What the hell where they doing?

Holy smokes, did you see the line at the smoke shop today? You could tell it was payday in Tampa. A smoker friend of mine told me that they just put a new tax on smokes and that they are going up like a dollar a pack. I’m all in favor of this and I’m not saying that because OMD smokes, I’m saying that because it just makes sense. Let’s examine.

They’re smokers so they aren’t going to live that long so we need to get our money as quickly as possible. Second, they are addicted so they’re going to pay it no matter what. Third, who do you think is going to be paying for their iron lungs in the future? That’s right, us, so we might as well get our money up front.

Did you see the article in the TBT the other day about bestiality? I would link to it but this has already gotten way to long and I’m getting tired. Anyway, it had the classic line, “he almost accidentally asphyxiated the pet goat.” You can’t make stuff like that up. Then you come to find out that bestiality isn’t even illegal in the state of Florida. Really? Who knew? They even had a picture of the poor goat.

The best part of the whole thing wasn’t in the article but took place in the EDR. After reading the article Ginger and Lone Wolf made the gesture with their hands like they were choking a goat and through gritted teeth said, “Take it like a man you stupid goat.” OK, I admit it isn’t as funny when I type it but I almost spit my coffee out.

Also, I know that erotic asphyxiation deaths are on the rise but I had no idea the goats had gotten involved.

14 Comments

by LoneWolf

13 Mar 2009 at 23:08

BAAAAAA Means No !!! The goat did die but they couldn’t link the man to the crime scene??? He was later arrested for stealing someone else’s goat(he did need a new girlfriend).Not making this up! What a great story
by thedeuce

14 Mar 2009 at 02:28

What the hell are they talking about!?

http://weblogs.sun-sentinel.com/news/politics/dcblog/2009/03/california_gambling_expert_sta.html
by thedeuce

14 Mar 2009 at 02:29

Sorry should have added this one too. Stop the madness please.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/legislature/sfl-flfseminoles0313sbmar13%2C0%2C5413422.story
by FoolsGold

14 Mar 2009 at 10:15

I think casino scheduling is often a matter of how much notice a scheduler has for a day-off request and how much he is distracted by other demands at the time.
I know they have various ‘list’ or ‘rubber-band’ techniques for dealing with EOs and the like but a timely request for a day off should never be a problem for a scheduler. After all, how alert and mistake-free will a guy be if he is working when he really has something else to get done that was important to him? The “pencil” should want to do more than just fill timeslots with bodies. He should pay attention to skills, idiosyncracies and special requests that are made in a timely fashion.
by Chris

14 Mar 2009 at 13:21

I guarantee you if I show up at your table with 500 dollars thats 500 dollars ill never see again. I could play by the book strategy and be in the last seat and its chevy chase in vegas vacation all over again.

Blackjack! Blackjack! Blackjack! Blackjack! Blackjack! Six.
by hautepocket

15 Mar 2009 at 01:07

The real question here is if the item you were asking for was really of the Kleenex brand because if not you really should have just asked for a tissue.
by chris

15 Mar 2009 at 21:57

Good point hautepocket. I hate it when people associate a generic item by a name brand. The problem also applies in adhesive strips. It stifles competition for other adhesive strip brands when you automatically ask for a “band aid” when the proper term is “adhesive strip” or when people automatically assume a restaurant sells “coke” when they are asking for a “soda” or “pop”.
by enormouspotential

16 Mar 2009 at 08:07

I notice that no one took on the baggy pants issue… Maybe they are used to getting hand-me-downs… “high waters” who can explain?
by vegasbeefcake

16 Mar 2009 at 10:29

Dude,
The burn card procedure has never changed since the Rock opened.
It goes like this:
You come up and tap into a dead game. You do not burn a card until you get a player. Now the game goes dead again and after awhile another player comes up. You DO NOT burn another card.
Now you tap into a live game, so you burn a card. Now the game goes dead. When a player comes up you DO NOT burn a card.
The easiest way to think about it is that you burn ONE CARD on your time on the game. So no matter how many times that your game goes dead and then live, you burn only ONE CARD on that table.
The Cake
by mikej

17 Mar 2009 at 01:02

highwaters, pants that are way too short. example, tops of shoes and socks are visible. lacking the armani break.
by enormouspotential

17 Mar 2009 at 05:09

Thanks mikej, but I wasn’t clear. I meant that people are wearing their pants w/ the waist around thigh level and an untucked shirt because the pants r actually hand-me-down high waters… or floods if you like. A joke that apparently wasn’t understood OR funny. My apologies…….
by Rachel

19 Mar 2009 at 21:53

It’s really simple…lol…men with big set of balls need bigger pants…..lol…
by Margie Keener

26 Mar 2009 at 19:20

I asked about getting 4 days off in June & was told if it covered a week-end it would be denied! Then I asked my shift about it and he said I couldn’t request leave – since I hadn’t been there a year. To ask the part-timers and other personnel now about working for me in June – so when the schedule comes out I could just give them my days. The “N” person in the office told me that people who weren’t maintaining their 38 hours would be automatically marked down to part time personnel – I queried about not getting scheduled for 5 days – that I’d only had 7 weeks since we opened that I actually got scheduled for 5 days – and yes I’d given one away. Family plans! So…………………to me it looks like they want a person to give their days away vice having to go in and replace them! Dun know!
by James

28 Mar 2009 at 07:40

Margie, that’s the price we have to pay for working on Tribal land. They enjoyed seeing dealers struggling. Fuck a dealer right? Hope everything is ok for you. Just be careful about what you say on here. You might be victemized by this whole bloggig bs.