Idealcrap

So last night was poker night with dead guys.  I think it’s a sad night in America when my poker game turns into a discussion on the state of the economy.  But first, a story about why the guys I play poker with are dead.

Two weeks ago we had our big tournament that was won by the Golfers brother.  He was the one that knocked me out and he was getting hit by the deck all night long.  Anyway, as I said in my post about the tournament, I had never met this guy.  So when we got there last night I asked why he doesn’t normally play on Thursday’s.  Fuck Stick told me that he use to play every week but then his wife caught him watching porn and told him he couldn’t play any more poker.  WTF?  What does one have to do with the other? 

Fuck Stick, “His wife said that poker lead him to porn and might lead him to other bad things.”  WTF?

Look, ladies, I feel that it is my responsibility to tell you some things about your man that he won’t tell.  When it comes to porn there are two types of men.  Men who watch porn and men who lie about it.  Sorry to burst your bubble but it’s not an 8 billion dollar industry because no one watches it.  This is something that you should just learn to deal with.

Then the conversation turned to gas prices.  Everyone was discussing ways to cut down on driving and spending gas.  The Steelers Fan and I even discussed opening a moped shop.  Think about it.  They get like 80 miles to the gallon.  As long as you don’t have to drive on the highway this is probably a great way to save money driving to and from work.  It’s the place you drive to the most so if you can save money there, all the other driving is for personal stuff and you can maximize that with proper planning. 

Of course, you know what they say about mopeds.  They are like fat chicks; there fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to see you doing it.

I said I was going to buy a horse.  Fuck Stick said that was a great idea, then he could have sex with his car.  Nice.

Then the Real Estate Agent tried to solve the alternative energy problem.  He decided that we should be using solar and wind energy more.  Thanks man, what would we do without you.

Well that is the brain candy for today, I will write about something important later today.

Thanks for your time.

Matt

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